kitty companiona

kitty companiona

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Writing Therapy

I've been debating starting to blog again for quite a while.  But like many things in my life, I keep putting it off.  Now life circumstances have made it necessary.  I need the therapy.

There have been a lot of changes in our lives since I last posted several years ago.  I will write about them later, but this is the biggest and most devastating change.

Two weeks ago, on Sunday September 15, our dear son Brad passed away.  He had been diagnosed in the spring with stage four lung cancer.  We were reassured at the time that with the newer chemo treatments this did not have to be a death sentence.  We had hope.  The first round of treatments did seem to make him feel better.  He had gained some weight and had more energy.  Unfortunately when he had his pet scan, it was found that the chemo was not as effective as everyone had hoped.  

Another round of treatment was started with a stronger drug.  It did not work well.  He began to be overcome with secondary problems.  He lost his appetite and began the downhill slide.  We just didn't expect the end to come so soon.  Even when you know that something like this can not end well, you are never prepared when the time arrives.

I've heard so many people say that parents should not have to bury their children.  Unfortunately life doesn't always work out that way.  We are not the first nor will we be the last.  We just have to go on and find our way in this new and altered reality.  We can be thankful that he and Kami moved in with us several years ago and we had time to live closely with them and see them on a daily basis.

Kami has gone to live with her grandmother until she decides what direction her life will be taking.  She says she can't live here where she is reminded daily of her and Brad's life together.  We all must deal with grief in our own way.  We will miss having her with us, but we talk to each other daily on the phone.  She will always be welcome here if she decides to come back after taking time to heal.

So it feels like we have lost both our kids.  Zip and I are trying to keep busy and not dwell on the loss.  

Thanks for reading and allowing me to vent.


  1. Oh dear Pat, my heart goes out to you and you are right, parents should never have to bury their children as I all too well know. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you lived so close to Brad and Kami and could be with him during his illness for support and courage. I wasn't so lucky with our Nicole as she lived so far away and never had the chance to say goodbye.

    Time heals but the pain somewhat still remains. I still miss her so much.

    I'm glad that you are returning to blog. I don't do much blogging myself as I find that I don't have any interesting things to share. It may be that I look at life differently now as I get older.

    I hope that you still have all your cats to comfort you.

    This week, I have taken up crocheting. It's been over 40 years since I last crocheted and had to look online for a refresher on how to proceed. I'm trying a pattern to make a small baby blanket for
    our church woman's group. They donate the blankets to the needy. At the beginning I made so many mistakes but that's how I learn, from my mistakes.

    I hope that you'll continue to blog. I was thinking of you yesterday and if I wasn't so busy, I would have sent you an email to see how you were.

    Take care, and welcome back.
    Hugs, Julia

  2. Sending you prayers, healing energy and warm wooly hugs. Kat

  3. OH how sorry I am for the loss of your son. Life is not fair but it goes on.
    We lost a good friend of ours a year ago to lung cancer and the same they thought they could help her but it was very quick. please keep blogging sending a hug.
    thinking of you

  4. Dear Pat,
    I am so sorry to read this. My heart breaks for you. Please know that you have many in blogland sending hugs and prayers. Know that we are here for you.

  5. Sending hugs Pat, so very sorry...

  6. So so so so sad. Day by day is easy to say and hard to live. May you find the strength ♥️

  7. Hi Pat
    So,so sorry to read about Brad. I don't go on Facebook that often and was shocked to see this. These lung diseases are such a scourge, I seem to be hearing of more and more about people suffering from lung problems.
    I can't begin to know how you feel losing a child but sadly will know in the not too distant future as Tom is progressively getting worse.
    I keep wondering if he will be here this time next year.
    We have finished with the consultant as there is no more they can do for him and been passed over to the Respiratory team who will be with him from now on to help him through.
    What a mean world this is Pat.
    Keep in contact and I have added your blog back on my list.
    Big Hugs


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