kitty companiona

kitty companiona

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Putting my Life on Hold Until...

I haven't been knitting lately.  Like two years lately.  Same with sewing.
You may ask why.  Or you may not give a rip.  But I'm gonna tell you anyhow.

About four years ago I was doing well on Weight Watchers.  I lost 99 pounds.  I vowed that I was NEVER going to go through the gaining weight thing again.  I had made a 'life style change'.  I got rid of all my fat clothing.  Never gonna need them again!

How delusional can one person be???  I never did lose that last pound to make it 100.  Even with all the effort I was far from THIN.  And after a whole year of sticking to the plan and restricting what I ate, my resistance dissolved and I went right back to binge eating big time.  And it took me a year to gain it all back.  How ironic.

So for the past several years I have 'maintained' at my high weight.  The thought of restricting food again puts me in a total meltdown.  I just can't do it AGAIN.

So my life has been on hold.

I did not want to knit because I gave away several nice hand knit sweaters to the thrift shop that were too big at the time.  Now I wish I had just stashed them away.  Oh, dieting hubris!  So when I think about knitting, I remember those sweaters and think 'why waste yarn on big sweaters in case I lose again?'  Same thing with sewing.  That fabric is really pretty, I should save it until I get thin.

The reality is:  NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

So I gave myself a slap upside the head and said, 'get out your patterns and that darn yarn and do something with it!'  Do I wanna die with all that great yarn laying around???  The kids will probably take it to the landfill.  Make big sweaters!  I can always take them apart and make them smaller if...  Oh, don't even go there!

So I'm starting with this sweater.

I made this one before I lost weight the last time.  I made my own buttons for it.  Now they are gone forever and they looked so good!  I still have enough of this yarn to re-make a sweater just like it.  Whether I will make new buttons is questionable.

So I'm gonna dig into the stash and use that lovely yarn and those favorite fabrics.  There's no time like now no matter what size I am.  And if I use up all the yarn and fabric and somehow through a twist of fate become a smaller size, I can always buy more.


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