Trying to Keep Busy

It's been a long few weeks.

We are trying to keep busy and not think too much about our loss.  It seems like we have so much more time on our hands.  I didn't realize how invested we were in Brad and Kami.  We didn't always spend a lot of time together, but they still took up a large part of our lives.

We are trying to get out and do a few things and not sit around the house dwelling on the sadness. It's apple season here in PA.  We enjoy driving down through Adams County and seeing all the trees loaded with fruit.  We visited our favorite orchard and came home with a nice variety bag of apples.

I'm going to tell you about a fire at our house the weekend after Thanksgiving last year.

Way back when we first bought our house, we didn't have enough money to build a separate chimney for the furnace.  So we put the furnace in front of the old kitchen fireplace because there was a hole there for a stovepipe.

So on that weekend our very old furnace decided to take a fit and coughed out some sparks and flame and caught the old mantel and the  wood around the fireplace on fire.  If it hadn't been for the quick action of Brad and Kami, the whole house would probably have burnt down.  I called 911 and then frantically tried to fill containers of water to rush to the kids to try to pour on the fire.  Zip was busy getting a cup of coffee.  What???  The house is on fire?  But I just woke up!  The fire was going up the wall and smoke was starting to come up through the rest of the house but he had to have a cup of coffee before he could make any fast moves.

Anyhow, the fire company arrived and with sirens and flashing lights.  They brought in the hoses, set up fans and opened all the doors and windows.  Zip and I were in a panic because we couldn't find the cats and the firemen would not let us look for them.  We had to get out!  By that time the fire was extinguished but there was still smoke in the house.  We prayed that the kitties would lay low and not panic and run outside.

Luckily when the smoke had cleared and the doors and windows were closed again, all the kitties were accounted for.  The only injury we had was that Penny had burn blisters on her paw pads.  We have no idea where she was that her feet had gotten burnt.

Then we had a two-week period when we had no heat in the main part of the house while the cleanup crew cleared out the smoke damage and the furnace installers did their work.

So what does this all have to do with getting apples?  My wonderful dehydrator fell victim of the smoke clean-up detail.  Also two looms, a lot of old musty yarn and many other treasures were hauled away.  It was a great way to get the cellar cleaned out but I don't recommend you try it.  I will say that our homeowner's insurance did an excellent job of finding clean-up people and restorers.  I am very grateful for their timely response.

So I bought myself a nice new dehydrator and went to work.  And luckily I had a supervisor, because I could not have done it on my own.  Thank you, Isabell!  I now have a nice bag of dried apple slices to snack on during the winter.  I also made a big pot of apple sauce that went into the freezer.

Yesterday I had to go to the podiatrist and have my toenail removed.  I've had a toenail fungus in my big toe for many years.  Mostly I just treat it with Vicks to keep it in check.  Lately I have been getting an ingrown toenail every few months.  The podiatrist decided that it was time to try removing the whole toenail.  I told her I wanted gas during the operation.  She laughed and said that was not something they did in the office.  So I had to settle for a few good shots of lidocaine.  It was a painless surgery until I got home and the numbing wore off.

Today I'm trying to take it easy.  Hobbling to the bathroom is about as far as I want to go.  Getting old is so much fun sometimes.

Thanks for stopping by!

Brad and Dad several summers ago.
If you would like to read Brad's obituary, it can be found here,     https://www.duganfh.com/obituaries/Bradley-Wenger?obId=7348637&fbclid=IwAR1N2P--J9yeSnGNV5QBxskvy8p5b96Ttn1jcOanCFkAYQZWBQv2wrmspwU#/obituaryInfo

Writing Therapy

I've been debating starting to blog again for quite a while.  But like many things in my life, I keep putting it off.  Now life circumstances have made it necessary.  I need the therapy.

There have been a lot of changes in our lives since I last posted several years ago.  I will write about them later, but this is the biggest and most devastating change.

Two weeks ago, on Sunday September 15, our dear son Brad passed away.  He had been diagnosed in the spring with stage four lung cancer.  We were reassured at the time that with the newer chemo treatments this did not have to be a death sentence.  We had hope.  The first round of treatments did seem to make him feel better.  He had gained some weight and had more energy.  Unfortunately when he had his pet scan, it was found that the chemo was not as effective as everyone had hoped.  

Another round of treatment was started with a stronger drug.  It did not work well.  He began to be overcome with secondary problems.  He lost his appetite and began the downhill slide.  We just didn't expect the end to come so soon.  Even when you know that something like this can not end well, you are never prepared when the time arrives.

I've heard so many people say that parents should not have to bury their children.  Unfortunately life doesn't always work out that way.  We are not the first nor will we be the last.  We just have to go on and find our way in this new and altered reality.  We can be thankful that he and Kami moved in with us several years ago and we had time to live closely with them and see them on a daily basis.

Kami has gone to live with her grandmother until she decides what direction her life will be taking.  She says she can't live here where she is reminded daily of her and Brad's life together.  We all must deal with grief in our own way.  We will miss having her with us, but we talk to each other daily on the phone.  She will always be welcome here if she decides to come back after taking time to heal.

So it feels like we have lost both our kids.  Zip and I are trying to keep busy and not dwell on the loss.  

Thanks for reading and allowing me to vent.